Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Motherly Advice....This too shall pass....

 
What a moment in history we are all living through...I'm baking endless miles of Jam Crostadas to cope....
 
Just 4 months ago, we were on the trip of a lifetime.
 
New York, Paris, Nice, Singapore.
 
Never for a moment, did we imagine that we were escaping a global Pandemic by a whisker, or that our travel plans for the future would be in disarray.
 

 
Just six months ago, my son married his long time sweetheart.

 
Two months ago, I celebrated my sixtieth birthday, and I had a loooong list of 60 things to do when I'm 60, that I've never done before. 
 
That list is now reduced to "Spend 60 days at home with nobody but Musician Husband and Diva Daughter to keep me company".
 
Actually...that is probably the accomplishment to trump all accomplishments.

 
I don't know about you, but I'm finding that bulk time 'en famille' can be challenging.
 
Three wilful adults in a household together is fine when it's a hour here, and a weekend there, and other stuff in between.
 
But lemme tell you....the home grown Lavender is getting a workout. Breeeeeathe….Peeeeeace...Inhaaaaaale...Exhaaaale...
 

Of course, working from home arrangements are another challenge.
 
Thank goodness for my new home office. What do you think of my secretary? She's a bossy little minx. Thinks she can sit in my chair, but not do the work. Another challenge.
 
 
Meanwhile, chandeliers at the Lido entry have been replaced by thrifted ones in our entry...$60 if you please. And all husbands own work. It was a tangled nightmare when we got it.
 
 
The city of Nice and it's beautiful scenery...


 ...and Laduree in the First Arondissement in Paris…
 
 
...and the Azure blue of the Mediterranean ocean...


...and Princess Graces garden in Monaco...

 
….and the Chocolate Shop in Old Town Nice...

 
….are but fond memories.
 
Frankly, we feast upon them. Memories of good times are what holds us together in times of difficulty.
 
I know of two families who are sadly, contemplating divorce, due to this enforced togetherness we are now so commanded to conduct. It's tough. We've had our moments, Lord knows.
 
We've had to sit down and have some very uncomfortable conversations around household responsibilities and personal space, and mutual respect. ALL of us.
 
The thing is though, our mantra has been 'Be Kind'. In all that we are doing, we are keeping that mantra foremost in our minds. It's standing us in good stead.
 
If home life 'en famille' is getting the better of you, perhaps a family conversation will be useful for you too.
 
Here's how:
 
1. Be clear about what you want from the conversation.
 
2. Give everyone else 48 hours notice of said conversation. Ask them to air their grievances too.
 
3. No insulting, no ridiculing, no yelling allowed.
 
4. Lists are good.
 
5. Allow each person to have their say without interruption.
 
6. Have a 'talking stick' if necessary. The person holding the stick, is the only one allowed to talk.
 
7. Discuss potential solutions and agree to them.
 
8. Everyone takes responsibility for household chores.
 
9. Stay on topic.
 
10. Draft an agreement, have everyone sign it and put it up somewhere.
 
---0---
 
This worked for us, and basically prevented World War III. Honest. It's not perfect around here, but it's liveable, and we're all trying extra hard. This is a time to try extra hard.
 
Meanwhile, in addition to working like a beaver to get office stuff done, I'm planning outfits for when social distancing measures are lifted.
 
I'm partial to this one.
 
I think I'll wear it to Aldi tomorrow....
 


 
Daughter Diva is getting ahead on making Christmas presents. These tassel earring she's invented are very much in demand....

 
I'm looking forward to the day when I can pick lavender with my little darlings again....
 
 
...and now that the weather is cooling here, the snuggly rugs are out...
 
 
...and crepes are on the menu for Breakfast, Lunch AND Dinner.

 
How are things for you?
 
Remember dears....this too shall pass.
 
And.
 
Be Kind.
 
….Mimi....

12 comments:

  1. I'm so happy to hear that things are ok in your neck of the woods. Yes, it's hard to believe how a year ago you did all of that traveling and I was in Asia! We can only look forward to when we can travel again. Things are good here and just saying in and only food shopping when necessary. Take care and be safe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm pleased you are safe and well too Julie. I haven't had a lot of time for blogging lately, but I'm managing bits here and there. Yes I remember your Asia trip! You stayed at Sentosa at the Shangri-La which is one of our favourite spots. We visited there this trip too. Isn't it fab? Mimi xxx

      Delete
  2. Bluey and I are lucky in that we have been living this lifestyle for a while now. For us it isnt so difficult to just have us together. I do miss not being able to go and visit with friends, or to attend my crafting groups. We have a sociable neighbourhood and a lot of over the fence conversations take place. I hope that with the open conversations, you the Musician and the Diva all manage to get through the isolation with flying colours and no blood shed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jane, we are mostly okay. I think it's also that moment in time when Fathers realise that their daughters are not little girls any more. Challenging for Dads. I'm glad you and Bluey are well. Mimi xxx

      Delete
  3. I put red lipstick on each day, just to present myself to myself. On Fridays I wear false eyelashes and full eyeliner. For fun. I have a married couple as my closest friends and I see that for some, this will be the covid that breaks the camels back.
    I see this time as a reset of values, maybe the concept of busy being synonymous with "cool" will die.
    Thank you for you words.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Michelle, I'm with you. Looking after self, not just now, but ongoing, prepares us for when things arent' going well, and the habit is so ingrained, that some days, it's what gets us through. A reset of values....I like it. Mimi xxx

      Delete
  4. It is the 'must stay home' rule that causes so much angst - being told that you cannot live as you normally do takes a bit to adjust to.

    My husband is working from home - he has taken over the new family room at the end of the kitchen so I am running full pelt until 8 in the morning getting things done so that his business calls can go ahead as planned.

    He worked from home for a number of years from 2012 but I have got use to my freedom and space so it is hard to adapt.

    The funniest thing so far is how much room he can take up in the kitchen - the benches are further apart than normal and he manages to get in my way every time we are both in the kitchen. He is totally disorganized and doesn't clean up after himself so I can see a round table discussion happening real soon.

    Lynette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh dear Lynette. Yes, husbands. Mine? It doesn't matter how many times I say 'I have a meeting, and you can't walk through here for the next two hours'....he still does. Sigh. He's getting better. Poor you. The round table discussion certainly helped here. Good luck. Mimi xxx

      Delete
  5. Hi Mimi, Things are mostly fine with us, and much better than in the bush-fire season when we had to evacuate twice and had to be ready to evacuate for days at a time. So I guess we are more relaxed mentally and emotionally than at the beginning of the year. I still go in to work at my part-time job, where I am mostly with only one other person who works in a separate office. Time at home is spent working in the garden enjoying our current lovely weather. Keeping in contact with friends and family by phone and text. Missing church though, as in the people - not the building. However there is so much great on-line encouragement from so many churches that I keep myself 'fed' and uplifted in that way, and I do listen to a bit of worship music - mostly the songs from the past couple of years. Home caring, crochet and reading take up most of the rest of my time. I feel blessed and grateful to be living in Australia during this time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so glad you are safe and well Sherri. What a year you've had. First the bushfires, now Covid-19. Yes, I am missing interacting with others, as this is one of the primary reasons I returned to the workforce, so I hear you. We need to feed our souls in other ways. I like your ideas. Mimi xxx

      Delete
  6. Well as my husband is working on an island in the Pacific I haven’t had to deal with that but isolating on your own is not great. I enjoyed the break from routine at first and have sorted and sewn and gardened but can’t wait until I am allowed out to hug someone. Barb

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hear you Barb. I am missing my human contact too. I hope you've had a hug. Mimi xxx

      Delete

I love hearing from you! I always respond to comments, so don't be shy! Mimi xxx