Friday, September 24, 2021

Living well in challenging times #1




Hello you.

How are you? How are you really? How's life travelling in your home? 

Are you all living well?

And what is that anyway? What does 'living well' look like when we are still a motley crew dealing with a Pandemic?

Two years ago, if you asked many folks, what they need to live well, they might rattle off a list like, a fancy home with a view, European car, nice clothes, easy access to restaurants, and so forth.

More recently, thanks to pandemic life, living well, has come to mean simpler things. Things like spending time with loved ones, being involved in significant life events, and learning how to get along with others in less than ideal circumstances are common themes.

If you do an internet search on 'living well in challenging times', you get a heap of stuff about mental health, and the psychology of living in challenging times. Very necessary information, no doubt. Stuff that I am not qualified to deal with.

There's a wealth of information on stocking up, and growing food, and being more self-sufficient. That's very useful too. I could go there, but others like some of the ladies blogs you'll see in the column here to your right, others are better at that than I am.

Sadly, nobody is addressing the practicalities of 24/7 life together, and how to just make day to day tasks and routines easier.

To live well, I believe, is far different to living 'luxuriously'.

The next several blog posts will address what I believe, are essential to living well in both good times and less good times. 

First of all, no human being, can live well, if their basic needs are not being met. For most of us, shelter comes first. We cannot even begin to contemplate other higher needs, until this need is met. If your 'shelter', or in other words, where you live, and with whom you live to feel safe, is threatened, you are going to have a heck of a time fulfilling other needs.

What does that mean to you? 

Does it mean trying to maintain a mortgage on a home, on what is now a limited income? 

Is your 'shelter' under threat due to lockdowns, downturn in your income, or other circumstances beyond your control? 

Do you feel unsafe where you live, either financially, physically or emotionally, due to the pressures of continued effects of a pandemic?

These are serious issues, that need to be dealt with by professionals. Organisations such as Lifeline, The Salvation Army, and Beyond Blue, and Homelessness Australia (or your local equivalent), may be able to help you. Please, please, do not hesitate to contact them if you require assistance.

On the other hand, if it's just day to day routines and getting stuff done, and making life a bit easier, then I CAN help. That's something that I AM good at.

Are you with me?

Today, I want you to do one thing.

Find a quiet corner, or a noisy one and pop in your earbuds, if that's the best you can manage at the moment.

Now....

List three things that you do well. It can be anything. Anything at all. Maybe you give great hugs. Perhaps your choc chip cookies get rave reviews. It could be that you are the glue holding your family together just now. It just might be that you are the Calm in everyone elses Storm.

Then....

List three things that are bothering you. Again it could be anything. Is it being out of routine? Is it just the fear that 'things may never be the same'? Is it that you feel like you spend all your time 'doing' for others, but no-one is 'doing' for you?

Action plan....

Now, this weekend, DO and BE the three things at which you are most accomplished. Give hugs freely. Bake choc chip cookies, be The Glue and The Calm. GIVE freely. Soak up the good in life that comes with giving. It's all there for you.

And then, make sure you RECEIVE. Ask for help and support. Have a family meeting, and explain where you need help and why. Assess the things in your life that are the constants, and know that they will always be there, no matter what happens. I bet there are plenty.

Use your spiritual, and emotional supports, whatever they may be, to be at peace. Breathe, breathe, breathe. Breathe more deeply and slowly. Do two full minutes of that.

The common thread here, is to preserve YOU. To nurture YOU. 

Self-care has been fruitlessly promoted as spa treatments and walks along the beach. All well and good when you can accomplish those things. 

Really, self-care is making sure you have the physical, emotional, and psychological stamina, to meet what comes next. Today, and all of the todays after that.

Today is the only day you have. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow isn't here, and when it is here, it's no longer Tomorrow. It's Today.

Today, do the things, some of which may be easy, some of which may be more difficult, to preserve YOU.

If YOU are not 'living well', then how can you help others do so? 

Please feel free to share your thoughts, or lists, or outcomes with me, either in the comments below, or privately at atrayofbliss@yahoo.com.

Our next post will explore this idea further. See you then.

Warmly,

Mimi


16 comments:

  1. What a lovely post. It is really getting back to the heart of the matter when we strip away all of the nonsense, noise and chatter around us.

    I feel like I am really blessed. I do have a fortunate life and am grateful.

    Living for today is critical and something that I regularly remind myself. This year has definitely brought that home - both on a very personal as wider as a broader level.

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    1. Fairy, I too am blessed, but that doesn't mean we haven't had, and don't continue to have, our own challenges. Living well, is central to our thinking at this stage of life, but it's not always easy! Mimi xxx

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  2. Mimi thank you for this. I have been pushing myself to make sure that my house is a welcoming home for my son and his family to move into, and share with us. At the same time I have been accommodating 'difficult' family members who have wanted a holiday. I have said yes to travellers, friends of our children, to park their caravan, coaster bus in our yard. We have been catering food wise and providing entertainment for these visitors. In all of this I have been feeling less and less like me. I am a competent and capable woman, mother, Granny, wife, social secretary and more, yet I was disappearing into nothingness. I read your post and thought Mimi has some great advice. I will be taking this on. Thank you.

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    1. Thinking of you, Jane. It is easy to be subsumed by others' needs. Take care of yourself. xxx

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    2. Dearest Jane, you have a lot on your plate right now. Sometimes we have to step back, and operate on a 'what's in it for me' mentality, even if only for a moment. Stay tuned. Mimi xxx

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  3. This is wonderful. I'm missing my family today as they are gathering for Dad's birthday, though I will see them all in a couple of weeks to celebrate my 50th. This is a lovely post with much wisdom inside it.

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    1. Jodi, you are so fortunate to have your Dad for his birthday. Love every moment. Tomorrow is not promised. I know you know this xxx

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  4. Gratitude has been a constant refrain for me this year in particular. Appreciation for where we live (geographically and our home), the choices we have (financially and lifestyle wise) has never been more important. A couple of personal reminders as to the fickleness of life has been the icing on the cake of gratitude. Thank you Mimi for all you do for us x

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    1. So much truth in your comment Allison. Life IS fickle, and none of us know what is around the corner. Two years ago, Pandemic was a movie, not a lifestyle! Mimi xxx

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  5. Yes! This is exactly what I need right now! I have lost myself caring for others and need to regain myself and my balance. I need help and encouragement and to know I am not alone. Thank you!!

    Darlene

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    1. Darla, I hear you. It's an epidemic of another kind. Burnt out Mamas. Let's try and address that together. Mimi xxx

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  6. Thank you for putting this in perspective. I'm going to give this some thought.

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    1. Laura, you've been through so much in recent years. I hope that above all, you are safe and well. Mimi xxx

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  7. Life can be challenging at times but if it is not how would we appreciate the wonderful that always comes along too in between.

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    1. This is true Cat. However, extended periods of extreme challenges, can be detrimental to the point where we then struggle to appreciate the wonderful. There's no escaping the fact that the last almost two years, have left scars on everyones psyche. I'm just trying to help in a tiny way. Mimi

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  8. Mimi, your blog really resonates. Life is a struggle for so many folk, these days. You have made some good points. Thank you xx

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I love hearing from you! I always respond to comments, so don't be shy! Mimi xxx