Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Motherly Advice.....The Contribution of the Stay-at-Home-Mother

Oh's you!
Come in, come in.
I'm so glad you're here! I just baked a slice and the kettle's on for a cuppa. Here have a seat. No you take the comfy one. That's it.
Now. Let's see. You say you're not sure you can keep dealing with life the way it is? That you think having a career is the only way to feel like you're making a contribution, right? That being at home with children is really a bit of a thankless task? I hear you. I think I've been in the same boat.
But can I tell you something?
Many years down the track, I look at my wonderful grown sons and their wives and children, at my disabled son proudly living an independent life, and at my daughter, nearly an adult herself, and I know that I have done the right thing. Oh I worked, I had a career, I thought that was the be all and end all too. But Mr A's disability soon cured me of that notion. I think I needed the wakeup call, frankly. Overnight, just about, I had to rearrange my priorities and my life. In fact I wouldn't have met The Musician Husband if my son hadn't been born with a disability. Our lives would have taken a completely different path and I still would have been with Mr Haughty who only ever thought about what made him look good. And that certainly didn't mean a disabled son.
So, many years on, I know, that I am where I was meant to be.
The problem is though, that it does take about twenty years for you to see the fruits of your labour as a Mum and Wife. So much goes on in the meantime, that it's any wonder we question ourselves. We think every mistake we make is the end of the world and that tough times last forever.
Well mistakes help us learn and grow, and no, tough times do not last forever. Not if you work hard at carving out a comfortable life for you and your little family.
Now let's take the idea of treating what we do in the home like a 'real job', getting up early to start work, and working consistently throughout the day, only taking breaks as would be dictated by an external workplace.

That one idea, can allow you to feed the family for less, enjoy a clean and welcoming home, put some groceries aside for lean times, make gifts, support the school with fundraising or volunteering, thus minimising costs for other families, make clothing where appropriate, make cards to gift or share, knit for warmth in the Winter, build and plant shade shelter for the Summer, expand your garden with propagated plants, establish a herb garden to increase your eating pleasure for no cost, experiment with less expensive cuts of meat and make the most of inexpensive produce in season.

So let's make a pact, that tomorrow is Day One of Managing the Home as a Real Job. Let's get up early together, welcoming the sunrise with enthusiasm, and see how much we can achieve together. Let's make a list tonight, a realistic list of what needs doing, and see how many things we can tick off together. Let's meet again tomorrow evening and see how far we've both come. I bet you'll be proud.

And so you should be proud of all you achieve in the home. It's such a valuable skill to able to manage your household budget effectively and still have the capacity to carve out a comfortable, elegant life. We can do it together.

Oh look at that time. I must fly. But feel free to drop in whenever you need to. I'm always here.
....Mimi xxx
I hope you don't mind but these people were eavesdropping on our little chat :)
Show and Tell Friday
Frugal Friday
The Art of Homemaking Mondays
Artful Homemaking


  1. Thankyou Mimi - I needed that reminding , love Maria xx

  2. lovely post Mimi. DH and I used to work full time but we always managed to have one of us at home with the girls thanks to shift work. Both girls are successful in their chosen fields, #1 is a SAHM with 4 children, #2 is in the corporate world, but they both remember coming home to a welcoming home after school.

    1. Maggie, that is so important to kids and teens, and such a rare thing nowadays. That ability to come home and pour our heart out to Mum was so instrumental in how we handled our teen years. I'd pleased it worked for you too. Mimi xxx

  3. What a lovely inspiring post Mimi.

    And such a great challenge too. I'm in!

    Better get off here and make my list. This is just the kick in the pants that I needed, lets get this show on the road!


    1. Tania, lovely, no kick here, merely a nudge...Mimi xxx

  4. Lovely Mimi. I feel the same and it is all worth it. The little years are a foundation of a lifetime.
    I have my list for tomorrow, my goals and plan. Each week I review my savings and successes. Joy!
    Lately I am seeing some of the "chickens coming home to roost" in terms of the years I stayed home and was always there etc... now I am really seeing the fruit! xxx

    1. Yes Annabel, a foundation. That is it exactly. No structure can survive tough times without a good foundation. The same for people. And I too, have witnessed the chickens I have a wry smile for many of those who thought they knew better than me back in the day. It is it's own! Love, Mimi xxx

  5. My sweet, sweet friend...bless you for the beautiful and encouraging word! I am a stay-at-home wife and mother and for me there is no greater joy than to be with my precious family.

    Thank you for this post. Love and hugs to you!

    1. Lovely Stephanie, you are all a Mum and Wife should be and more. The life of homemaker truly can be so fulfilling and you are a shining example of that. Mimi xxx

  6. That has genuinely warmed my heart. I've recently had lots of people interested in if/when I will go back to work (my youngest is only 13 months old!), and it got me thinking. And whenever I start thinking about it I realise just what it means to me to be at home with my children. And I am so grateful that by living the way we do I am able to be, I know for some people this is not the case no matter how much they save. Reading your thoughts reminds me of how worthwhile the sacrifices we make are, but also how a bit of thought and effort can make the household side of things easier to manage. Thanks Mimi :)

    1. Jen, gosh, 13 months in my mind, is still babyhood! Why would you leave them if you don't have to? And really, most of us wouldn't have to if we just adjusted our lifestyle. My series of posts on insourcing are proof of that, and blogs like The Bluebirds are Nesting, The Enchanting Rose, My Abundant Life and the others on the right of the screen here, are more encouragement in the same vein. Even Faux Fuchsia finds contentment in baking and ironing! I hope you have time to look at them as well. Yes, thought, planning and effort can make life very comfortable and elegant indeed, and we can all do it. Love, Mimi xxx

  7. That's it, Mimi: Start at the finish. What does that look like? Begin there and work your way backward.

    No regrets here. And to here my daughter correct her boss who offers her a promotion: "Um, the ultimate promotion is when I quit this job to go home and raise our family."

    Hugs and happy highways,

    1. Kelley, I love your thinking. "Think of the end product and work backwards". Works for patchwork, kids, and life in general. You are so clever. And you've raised a clever daughter too, I see. I just want to hug her. Can you do it for me instead? Mimi xxx

  8. Umm, what was that about greeting the sunrise, Mimi? Don't you know it is freezing here? Lovely post as usual.

  9. Hi Mimi,
    Welcome back, and I did miss you.........was concerned you might be really sick.
    Now I am away visiting with my daughter and her hubby. We are having a great time.

    Love this post and I have to say a hearty Amen, as my children are grown too, and
    I so related to everything you said, as I was a stay a home Mom and wife too andI have to say I have no regrets either, I always felt it was my calling from God, and approached it as such too, and it is very gratifying to see the end result. I always
    kept in mind as I was raising my children that one day they would be spouses and
    important parts of the community and tried to raise them with that in mind. My hubby and I find it so wonderful to watch our children navigate life now that they are older,
    so fun to enjoy watching and sometimes enjoying being a part of their firsts in life....

    Thanks for coming by and for your sweet comments as always,
    Blessings, Nellie

  10. A beautifully written and inspiring post Mimi. xoxo

    I'm going to print this out and paste it into a new book (a journal like a scrapbook, but fancier :-)) I am starting called "The heart of a homemaker" and fill it with inspiration and practical advice.

    This post really blessed me! love Kaye xoxoxo

    1. I'm truly thrilled to be included in your scrapbook Kaye. Thankyou so much. Mimi xxx

  11. I left a great career, to stay home, the minute they put that first baby in my arms and I have never regretted even one minute of it. My only sad thought, is that it goes by way too quickly! ;)

  12. The warm fireplaceJuly 30, 2015 at 5:34 PM

    Just found your blog, wonderful post, and was much needed reminder having been an at home mum for 30 years, its the best career.


I love hearing from you! I always respond to comments, so don't be shy! Mimi xxx