Friday, September 14, 2018

Motherly Advice....Be your dream self...


 
Life is short.
 
I'd like to add...so have fun with it.
 
We all here, you, me, us, try to live a frugal life, not just for the sake of living frugal, but also to allow us to splurge and have the 'good things in life' sometimes too. It's not all just endless frugality with no reward. No, no, no. What would be the point of that?

It's all a pathway to being able to live a certain kind of life, right?

If fact, many people find themselves living a certain kind of life, to enable them to talk about it.
 
Why?
 
Well, I think it's for many reasons. For admiration, for a sense of belonging, to be part of a greater cause, to be held in high esteem by others, to impart knowledge...these are just a few reasons.
 
But there's a more esoteric way of looking at this idea.
 
It's called Maslows Hierarchy of Needs.
 
Here's the pyramid of needs as devised by American psychologist, Abraham Maslow.
 
He was a clever man who also said "The ability to be present in the moment is a major component of mental wellness", "I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail", and "What we can be, we must be, in order to be at peace with our life".
 
I like him.
 
 
His theory is, that we all start at the bottom of the pyramid. We all need food, water and sleep to survive.
 
But once those needs are met, we move up the pyramid to needing a place to call home, where we feel safe.
 
Being loved and having a sense of belonging is our craving once we have Physiological and Safety needs covered, and I need to add, that this is not a chronological process. Many of us live through each of these stages, not once but many, many times throughout our life.
 
Relationship, health, and financial issues impact on each of these needs, sometimes several times in a lifetime, and interestingly, it's difficult, if not almost impossible, to meet a higher need, if our most basic ones are not being met, no matter our stage of life.
 
At some point we all aspire to Esteem. The esteem of others, and hopefully a healthy self-esteem. If your needs in the lower three areas of the pyramid are being met, then you should be well on the way to having this need met too.
 
And finally Self-Actualization where expressing one's creativity, quest for spiritual enlightenment, pursuit of knowledge, and the desire to give to and/or positively transform society becomes the force that drives us.
 
Those highest two, are, I think, what motivates people to share so much of their lives on social media these days. It's not really about 'look at me', it's more about 'look how high up the Pyramid of Needs I am'...even if they don't know about the Pyramid of Needs.
 
Here's an example of that idea in action.


I just watched the film, Florence Foster Jenkins. Have you seen it?
 
It's the true story of a wealthy socialite who sang opera. I'm not spoiling it for you by mentioning that she was a terrible singer, because the whole movie revolves around that fact. But it didn't stop her from singing. Not one whit. In fact she made a gosh darned good show of singing her little heart out.
 
Now there's someone at the peak of their Self-Actualising.
 
Her basic needs were met, so she was able to meet her higher ones. She was loved by many, she helped many, she lived her dream, no matter what anyone said.
 
Go Florence, I say.
 
 
One of the final lines in the movie is actually the opposite of a mantra I've often used. My mantra is 'just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should' and in my own context, it refers mainly to the injustices of the world.
 
Florence Foster Jenkins is a shining example of a kind of reverse idea that says...'don't let the fact that you're not brilliant at something, stop you from enjoying it anyway'.
 
I love that too, don't you?

So what has that to do with the Chinoiserie Chic bedroom at the top of my post, you ask?
 
Well here it is.
 
I've been working on a bedroom makeover. If you saw my last post, you'd be aware of that.
 
I'm no interior designer, but I do have a creative eye. Hence 'don't let the fact that you're not brilliant at something, stop you from enjoying it anyway'.
 
Secondly, life is dreadfully short. The older one becomes, the more patently aware you are of that fact.
 
Having entertained a pastel French Shabby Chic home décor for well over 30 years now, my mind turned towards something brighter, bolder, and more glamorous.
 
Because having exited my child bearing and child rearing years, I too, am becoming bolder, brighter, and I hope...more glamorous.
 
The outer should reflect the inner...yes?
 
And here's the thing in relation to that Hierarchy of needs.
 
For many years now, my first three tiers of needs have been met, so now, as I approach my 59th birthday, I'm working towards my final two tiers of needs.
 
The last two years have seen a makeover of self, and a re-establishing of who I am, post child rearing.
 
Now comes the makeover of home and hearth to match.
 
That's why this pastel arrangement...

 
….now boasts bold colours,
 
 
...and metallic trims....
 
 
….and these thrifted pretties...
 
 
...are being made over with bright pops of colour and accents of gold.
 

A blogging friend urged me this week not to change. She was finding my recent obsession with all things Chinoiserie, at odds with who she thought I was. Kind of sweet of her in a way.
 
But Life is Short.
 
Have Fun While You Still Can.
 
And... Just Because You're Not The Best At Something, Doesn't Mean You Can't Enjoy It Anyway.
 
Those are my new mantras.
 
I'm determined to be Bold, Bright and Glamorous for my remaining years.
 
I want my home to be a reflection of that.
 
Hopefully my blogging friend will love me all the same.
 

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16 comments:

  1. Dear Mimi, Brilliant post! Thankyou for sharing. Clare

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  2. I love this! Be who you are, who you need to be. If that's bold colors and Chinoiserie, that's wonderful! It's not my style (do I even HAVE a style???), but I can admire that you found something you love and are finding a wonderful way to display it. Truly a lovely post. :)

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    1. Thankyou Stephanie. I've come to accept that we can all be many different versions of self in a lifetime. And if that includes the way we dress and decorate our homes, then that only makes sense, doesn't it...xxx

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  3. Mimi, you are so right to display the love you feel for yourself in your surroundings. Enjoyment of life's opportunities if often seen as a guilty pleasure, something to be savoured with anticipation and than put away for another time. I think woman of our generation often lived in the first 3 levels, spending our lives caring for others and little energy solely for ourselves. It is later life that we blossom, learn to love ourselves as we are, accept that youth may have passed us by but we embrace new opportunities with gusto! It is our time to shine. Your "pinks" are not for me but your love for embracing the true you I applaud. Erin

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    2. Erin, sorry, I inadvertently responded to Del in this space so had to delete it. Oops! What you say is spot on. We have been expected to 'have it all', when really, we just had 'more to do'. So having the opportunity to let loose and become our Butterfly selves is liberating. It IS our time to shine. What a lovely way of looking at it. Mimi xxx

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  4. Hi Mimi, That looks gorgeous. I think styles evolve and it is so liberating to go with what makes your heart happy. It would be so boring if we all decorated in the same style. I do not have a keen eye for teaming up colours or designs but that's not to say I don't appreciate it when I see it. Most of my decor is timber and neutrals, but I can one day paint them and give them a lift with some bright colour accents. That's the beauty of it - we can change it when we want to. The pyramid was very interesting and something I've never seen before. It makes perfect sense. Thanks for posting it and I'm loving all the photos of your new decor

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    1. Del, styles do evolve, you're right. And what suits our tastes at one stage of life, perhaps is not what we crave at another. Timbers and neutrals is what I've always had too. But I have always had a hankering for metallics and brights in smaller doses. Now is the time to let loose! Mimi xxx

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  5. Life is short and we should all learn to walk, dance, run, play to the beat of our own drum. Sadly I realised this too latent I very much regret following the paths I did. It is still difficult for me to do what I want and as a carer most of my days are focussed on another.

    God bless and enjoy your updated room. If it sings to you and your spouse that is what matters.

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    1. Suzan, it's NEVER too late. Whilst I have breath in my body, I'll continue to walk, dance and run. You can too. Being a carer is exhausting, I know that too. I used to have my Golden Hour somewhere in the day. I'd make sure my son was cozied up with a football match or a book on CD, and I'd escape to the back yard with a good book, or to my bathroom for a soak in the tub. That's what kept me sane. I hear you, I hear you, I hear you. I hope you find a Golden Hour sometimes too. Mimi xxx

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  6. I say: Go Mimi GO!!! Pink and all!
    Thank you for a wonderful post!
    Patricia/ Fl USA

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    1. Thanks for the cheering from the sidelines Patricia! Mimi xxx

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  7. For so many years I have need pastels and white around me to induce a sense of visual peace...it mattered a great deal. But here's the thing. We are just nine days away from moving into our very first home (at age 59) after being renters since day dot. When you always rent (and we have moved 22 times in the last 27 years) you adapt your style to the temporary surroundings but you're always restrained (can't hang anything on the walls, can't paint etc etc) because there are boundaries in place...so it's easier to stay with eclectic simplicity of style...for me that's always been soft colours and white or cream with tiny pops of colour for accent. That's the furniture which always follows us through every rental home.
    But now...this is going to be OUR home to do with what we like, and I am finally able to tap into my boho inner being and add gypsy colours without going over the top. Very excited.

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    1. Jenny as the mother of a severely disabled young man, I did the same. Pastels were soothing and calming and as you say, I very much needed that in my life. But this is my time now. The women on my Mothers side do not have great longevity. My Mum passed away at just 60 years and 3 weeks, and her sister and Mother at 63. She still had so much she wanted to see and do, and I've always been determined to see and do all I want to before my time comes. I'm hoping for 40 more years, but I'm sure the good Lord has his own plan for me. My point is, that I feel the need for colour around me now. Not just colour, but a décor, and a way of life that embraces what we have, and celebrates our tropical lifestyle. I hear you on every level. Tap that inner gypsy, boho woman and go for it Jenny! I'm so excited for you! Mimi xxx

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  8. I love your emerging style, Mimi, and I love that it is unique and perfect for you! I totally relate to this post because I am going through something similar. My youngest child is heading to kindergarten next year, so for the first time in over a decade I will have time during the day to myself, and time to do home decor projects. We just decided to move to a neighborhood just 4 miles away, into a more updated home with lots of fun neighborhood amenities and great schools. We ended up choosing a house with a Spanish tiled roof. So I've been looking into Spanish interior decor styles and I LOVE what I'm finding! I love the bright colored tiles and mosaics and oriental rugs and rod iron light fixtures. My husband does too, and I'm so excited to have an entirely new decor style to aim for, inspired by our home's exterior! You are so good at defining your style and I am starting to realize how important that is, instead of just buying or making things that I like without an overall plan in place.

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I love hearing from you! I always respond to comments, so don't be shy! Mimi xxx