Saturday, February 6, 2016

Motherly Advice...Encouragement...

Sometimes life is hard.

Sometimes we all feel like we're four years old again, with that hitching that precedes a flood of tears, hiccuping in our chest.

Sometimes we just need a hug.

I've had a challenging week on so many levels. What about you?

I had days where I just wanted Mum. Alas she is gone 13 years.

I know that many fall back on their faith in times of despair. At times I can do this, and sometimes, it seems I am being called to right my own wrongs, and find a way out of the despair alone.

That was the case this week.

I've really gone back to grass roots and determinedly clawed out some time for me, for reflection, for planning, for goal setting and for a good hard look at where I am in life, and where I want to be.

I've realised that nothing we do in life is a waste. If nothing else, when things don't go according to plan, we can dust ourselves off and say 'Well! What did I learn from THAT experience?'. 

I'm sure some of you think I'm referring to my recent exit from a money saving website some of us know one another from. I can assure you that this was but the tip of iceberg of my challenging week. 

No matter the why and wherefore, I have been buoyed by so much positive sent my way in a harrowing week, and want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Thanks to you all, I feel I am on a good path. A path that will see me fulfilling some dreams and goals, that I realise now, were buried in the humdrum and routine.   

I've always operated from a stance of gentle encouragement, and that has been my message fairly consistently, both here and on my 'other' blog. I've always felt that the best person to change your life situation is you, and offered my own experiences to illustrate that.

So now, I want to return some of the encouragement I received this week.

I want to encourage you, to do one thing in the coming seven days, that will make you proud this time next week. 

It could be a random act of kindness, for example. Last Saturday, my daughter and I bought 3 packets of Ferrero Rocher Chocolates, and approached the cleaner in the food court of our local shopping centre. We said 'Hi. We've noticed how hard you ladies work, and we're pretty sure that nobody ever acknowledges you, so we'd like to give you these chocolates so you know you're appreciated'. Her face was priceless, and she couldn't believe that someone would do that for her, and her colleagues. Heck. They were $3 chocolates. It was the gesture that made an impact. That left us all grinning from ear to ear.

Maybe you could rustle up a few bottles of Annabels' bubble bath I mentioned recently. You don't need to spend much on the bottles. Recycled bottles of any kind will do. Sauce bottles, vinegar bottles, even wine bottles if you know someone who drinks wine. Or ask at a local restaurant for their clear empty wine bottles. Wash them well, soak off the labels, and they're perfect. And free. Fancy bottle stoppers are available on eBay for under $3 each, or you can buy craft corks, and seal them with those. Imagine bubble bath in tall bottles, sealed with corks with tea dyed lace, lavish ribbon, or natural raffia tied to their necks, and monogrammes or beautiful decals attached. A gorgeous gift.

Maybe you could start a vision journal. How do you want your life to look this time next year? That journey has to begin somewhere. It might mean tidying the garden, it might mean changing jobs, or maybe it means nurturing your relationships. Just start. Having a plan, a list, and an idea of how to work towards that goal, day by day, week by week, is the only way you'll get there. You can't keep doing the same thing and expect a different result, as the saying goes. 

My primary goal this year, is to have my book at the printer, by Christmas. So I already have my plan on the wall. It's going to be a hard slog to make that happen and I may not get there in time for Christmas. But I'm going to try. Maybe it will be more like Mothers Day next year, and that's not a bad thing. But at least I have a plan.

Some mornings, just before I wake, I almost feel my Mothers touch on my shoulder. As if she's there, gently nudging me towards my day. I miss her hand in mine, and her gentle encouragement, terribly. But I have all of you, cheering me from the sidelines, and that is a wonderful bonus in my life.

Thankyou.

....Mimi...

40 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry that you have had such a trying week. It sounds though that you have done some deep soul searching and are once again centered. I pray that you will be able to see your dream come to fruition by Christmas.

    Be blessed!

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    1. Thankyou Debbie. I am happy for your prayers too. Love, Mimi xxx

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  2. It is true nothing is wasted. We learn a lot. I will stick to my similar demise from the same place, firstly, and I know now that I learned so much writing there and meeting people (such as yourself!) It wasn't a waste. The enormous amount of work that went into threads and themed months and all of that was appreciated by some lovely ladies but not by the administrators. I was making money for someone else actually but mostly happy to do it. It wasn't a waste. It started something in me that was really good, overall.
    Certainly other times in life I have put huge effort into making something work, including a marriage, that did not. Still I learned a lot... even if it is being able to feel for someone else in that position.
    In everything it is amazing how little kindnesses make the hugest difference. Seriously just that someone cares at all is important. I know you spread a lot of joy and kindness and it will always come back to you. Sometimes from the most surprising places!
    Ill accept the challenge and go above and beyond next week and do something really different that I haven't done before.
    Good luck with your book! You can sign me a copy! xxx

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    1. Annabel, you are wise, and have helped me in many ways yourself, in the last twelve months. Thankyou. Yes, even if we only learn to feel empathy for someone in a similar position, that is still a valuable thing. I'll be looking forward to hearing what sunshine you spread. I don't think you even have to try too hard. It's ingrained in you! And rest assured, a signed copy of my book will wing it's way to you when the time comes. Lots of love, Mimi xxx

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  3. I had a very tough week myself Mimi. I think we all go through these chalenging times that force us to take stock of our lives, dust ourselves off and reset our course. As you so eloquently stated we need to direct this in a positive way and forge a new plan. Change can be hard, and growth can be painful. But our attitude while we grow and the love and friendship of a few key people can buoy us through it. I love your blog, i love your views on life and i very much look forward to your book Mimi. I am very thankful that i found you and Annabel. Sending hugs. Lisa xo

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    1. Lisa, what a beautiful comment. I appreciate your thoughts greatly. Life is full of change, and I've always believed that if something doesn't work out the way you want, it's because something better is just around the corner. That's always been true for me. Sending hugs back. Mimi xxx

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  4. What a beautiful gesture and random act of kindness Mimi! It's a great feeling to bless someone else. Hugs and encouragement back to you.

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    1. It was such a small thing Robyne, but even my 16 year old daughter said 'I bet she remembers that forever, Mum'. Yes. Small gestures can impact on people forever. Hugs to you too. Mimi xxx

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  5. Your last paragraph re: your mother's touch is so pointedly beautiful. I love when those moments occur. I must be feeling hypersensitive on the subject this week, as it marks 9 years for my mother's passing. We help each other, Mimi. I look forward to news of your book's progress.
    Rita

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    1. Dear Rita, do you have those moments too? Sometimes I am sure she's there stroking my shoulder, or often I've thought someone has just stood up from sitting on the end of the bed, but when I look, thinking it will be my daughter, there is no-one there. I'm sure they stay with us Rita, watching over us. Sending hugs to you on this sad anniversary. The loss of a Mother is something from which we never recover. Thankyou for visiting today. Much Love, Mimi xxx

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  6. So true, Mimi. I am glad that you have found some clarity for your future. Best wishes, Fairy

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    1. Thankyou Fairy. Sometimes a sabbatical is a good thing. I look forward to all that lies before me, and do not regret that which I've left behind. Thankyou for your lovely email. It was much appreciated. Mimi xxx

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  7. Lovely post, Mimi - as always thought provoking. My mum has been gone since 1988 and I still miss her, sometimes feel her touch when I need her. And that is often since my misguided daughter and therefore my grandchildren decided to withdraw contact from all family - my life feels like I'm in a rut right now so perhaps you have spurred me on to do something differently. Life is way too short for bearing grudges. Pam xx

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    1. You've lost your Mum too Pam? I'm so sorry. Yes we miss them forever, don't we. I'm sorry too, that contact has been severed between you and your family. That is so, so sad for all concerned. Sadly, there is little you can do when that decision has been made by the other party. I do not believe in bearing grudges. They weigh you down, and hold you back from enjoying life. We're all only here in THIS life once, no matter your beliefs, so we owe it to ourselves to not arrive at our last breath, with regrets. Do something beautiful for yourself this week Pam, and extend a random act of kindness to another. I bet you'll feel lighter and happier for it. Sending hugs, Mimi xxx

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  8. Dearest Mimi,
    So sorry you have had such a trying week, mine was good in some ways, but I have been a bit down the last few days myself as my back is still a mess......
    and it just seems like no matter how excited I get about doing something,
    there is always something that comes along to steal my steam.........most
    of the time I handle it well, but every once in awhile it gets to me...and
    I have a melt down, this was one of those weeks, but I am getting perspective again, as I know I can't camp out here for sure.........I have
    a book I love to read when I have these times and it is called "Mid Life and
    the grace of God", by Paul David Tripp........it really helps me so much.
    Love what you did for the ladies at the mall, I love doing things like that
    too, and a lady from our church makes fresh baked cookies for her waste
    disposal men every week. Amazing.........when we water others we really
    water ourselves too, I always say.
    So excited about your book, and glad you are getting focused on that....
    and like you say God waste nothing........it is all stepping stones, so
    now is probably just your time for working on your book, and so he had to
    cut you lose from something that was less important...........
    Blessings to you sweet friend and hope you are feeling emotionally great
    very soon.
    Love and blessings, Nellie

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    1. Sweet darling friend, Nellie. I'm sorry you're having a trying time too. These things come in waves sometimes, don't they? I will search out that book, thankyou. Yes, everything is a stepping stone, and I cannot tell you how many times in my life, I've been able to say 'Well if that hadn't happened, I wouldn't be where I am today'. It's the truth. We all have a life path, and sometimes it has detours, right? I hope your back improves, sweetie. Sending you hugs and blessings, my lovely friend. Mimi xxx

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  9. And the phoenix rises....
    I knew you wouldn't be down for long, Mimi, going on past performance. I am looking forward to your book. You are, as always, inspirational. Kerrie B. :)

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    1. Kerrie, what a lovey thing to say. Thankyou. Mimi xxx

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  10. Hugs Mimi.

    Love

    Lynette
    XXXXX

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    1. Thankyou Lynette. Hugs gratefully received. Love, Mimi xxx

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  11. Great, thought provoking blog post Mimi. I lost my mum in 2010 and often cry and wish she was here to give me some firm advice. I too, have had some kicks in the gut over the years, and I reflected and asked what you did and tried to see the lessons in it. However in my case my personal integrity was questioned and it left a hole in my chest, that is permanent.

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    1. Jan, that's not so long ago. Very hard. Sending you a Mum-like big gentle hug today. As for what's happened to you, and I don't know the details, but yes, it can be very hard to let go when you feel you've been unjustly treated. Especially when your integrity is called into question. This has happened to me too. But darling every wound heals eventually. Even a hole in your chest/heart, will eventually knit together and simply form part of who you are. Sometimes our scars remind us that we survive. You sound like a survivor to me. Letting go of ill treatment in our past, sets us free to find a new future where we are respected. Holding onto that pain, means you can never move forward. Put your hand on where you feel the emotional pain, take a deep breath and exhale long and slow, imagining that hurt migrating into your palm. Do it with your eyes closed and literally imagine the pain as a black mite, that needs expelling. Sit quietly for a while and forgive yourself for holding this pain, and imagine your Mum giving you a hug, and telling you that it's okay to let the pain go. Hold that pain in the palm of your hand, go to the window, open your palm, and gently blow on your palm to release it. Watch the four winds carry it away. Do this as often as needed, and eventually, you will feel lighter. The brain is a wonderful thing, as is the human need to prevail. You can do this, and move forward. I promise you. Lots of love, Mimi xxx

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  12. Lovely post MImi and very inspiring re the book. I hope it comes out in time for Christmas, that will be a few presents taken care of :-) No pressure though, LOL.

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    1. Thanks Curly Club. I'm doing my best! Mimi xxx

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  13. But, oh, sweet, dearest Mimi. It's you who encourages me. It's just that you reap what you sow.

    *hugs*
    Kelley~

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    1. Dearest Kelley, every comment from you puts a smile on my face for days. Love, Mimi xxx

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  14. Hi Mimi

    What a wonderful thing you did for those cleaners, such a thankless job at the best of times they do...cleaning up the mess of others and some of the mess you see left behind makes you wonder how people really live at home, would they leave such a mess at their own homes?

    You have always encouraged me with your Random Acts of Kindness, there have been times that I have seen someone have to put a product back as they were 5c short or even 50c short and I have helped out. I once did this for an elderly lady who just cried as she was having a birthday but was short a little for the chocolate that she wanted to treat herself, she was so very grateful.

    Living in such a small town without support from family, I have been on the receiving end of a lot of help over the last few months having a few bouts of illness and I must say I would not have gotten through without the support of a few friends. I was able to repay the favour the other day to one of the helpers and look after her children after school so she could get a extra things done in town instead of having to return the next day.

    So in general it does not even have to cost money to do a Random Act.

    I too will be eagerly waiting your book arrival and hope it all goes well for you.

    Wishing you a wonderful week ahead

    Aly
    xxx

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    1. Dear Aly. I know what you mean about the mess. Yes, it must be a hard and thankless task. I love what you said about the lady with the chocolate. What a dear heart you are. You're right too. It doesn't have to cost anything to offer a random act of kindness. Thankyou. Mimi xxx

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  15. Dear Mimi,
    Thank you for such a wonderful post and challenge. You have helped me a great deal in the last few weeks - your post on when you are feeling down 'just to do one thing' and then when you have finished that 'to do another thing'. I had been feeling down and unmotivated after my mother's death two years ago, and I have been following this advice and it has helped me tremendously. Thank you and I do hope this brings you encouragement. I look forward to everything you write and find your blog very helpful. Best wishes with the book. Lyn

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    1. Lyn, isn't it funny what impact such small things can make. I am so sorry for you for the loss of your Mum from your life. But you know she would want you to be fulfilled and happy, so if 'doing one thing, and then one thing more' helps you achieve that, then I think MY Mum, who used to say that to me, would be very proud. Sending you big hugs. Mimi xxx

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  16. Mimi you really do have a lovely way with words. I think its because you write from the heart. I love reading about what you and your daughter do together, what a lovely thing to let someone in a thankless job know that someone notices.
    Your crafts that you do together give me such nice memories I things I used to do with my mum.

    I hope you have a good week :)
    Jen

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    1. Jen, the connection to my Mother and Grandmother is strong even now, because of the life lessons they taught me, that I now teach my own children and grandchildren. That truly is the circle of life, isn't it. Love, Mimi xxx

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  17. I like your attitude, Mimi. It is always a blessing to bless someone else. It makes everyone involved feel like a million bucks. Thank you for your encouraging post.

    Blessings,
    Sandi

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  18. Such a lovely post Mimi. How kind of you and your daughter to recognise the cleaners in the shopping mall and say 'thank you' with some chocolates. As you rightly say, the chocolates may not have cost a vast amount but it was the gesture that was priceless to those ladies who often go un-noticed. It'd be lovely if more of us the world over took the time just to say 'thank you', no money need be spent.
    Good luck with your book target, whether you get there by Christmas, next mother's day or even summer it'll be worth it.
    Angela x
    Only Crumbs Remain

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  19. This was a lovely post. I think we all need extra encouragement from time to time. Sometimes just a smile or little handwritten note can do so much. I often find helping others lifts me out of my sad times. Your RAK was very thoughtful, Mimi.

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  20. This is such an amazing post! So glad I read it!

    Thanks for joining Cooking and Crafting with J & J!

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  21. I'm sorry to learn you had such a difficult week but am pleased to know you are working on a book. No doubt it will be filled with the same sweet spirit of loveliness that I always find here on your blog. May your next week be filled with double joy.
    Blessings, Leigh Anne

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  22. Mimi, I'm sorry that you have had a difficult week. I miss my mom every day as well, but often feel that she is watching over me. I truly believe that random acts of kindness make such a difference in peoples life. Something as small as a smile can change someones day. Even a subtle hi, how are you? or a sincere compliment. I try to do this often! Thanks for sharing with SYC.
    hugs,
    Jann

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  23. I'm a firm believer that you can learn a lot from hard times, although it doesn't make it any easier, does it? I hope things get better for you and that you can appreciate the good things. That's always the best way to look at tough times. I think you've got the right attitude here!

    Sally @ Life Loving
    #LifeLovingLinkie

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  24. I am sorry that you had a difficult week. I hope this coming week is much easier for you.

    I am intrigued about this book you are creating and hope to learn more about it.

    Thanks for Sharing Your Cup!

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I love hearing from you! I always respond to comments, so don't be shy! Mimi xxx