Sometimes we all feel like we're four years old again, with that hitching that precedes a flood of tears, hiccuping in our chest.
Sometimes we just need a hug.
I've had a challenging week on so many levels. What about you?
I had days where I just wanted Mum. Alas she is gone 13 years.
I know that many fall back on their faith in times of despair. At times I can do this, and sometimes, it seems I am being called to right my own wrongs, and find a way out of the despair alone.
That was the case this week.
I've really gone back to grass roots and determinedly clawed out some time for me, for reflection, for planning, for goal setting and for a good hard look at where I am in life, and where I want to be.
I've realised that nothing we do in life is a waste. If nothing else, when things don't go according to plan, we can dust ourselves off and say 'Well! What did I learn from THAT experience?'.
I'm sure some of you think I'm referring to my recent exit from a money saving website some of us know one another from. I can assure you that this was but the tip of iceberg of my challenging week.
No matter the why and wherefore, I have been buoyed by so much positive sent my way in a harrowing week, and want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Thanks to you all, I feel I am on a good path. A path that will see me fulfilling some dreams and goals, that I realise now, were buried in the humdrum and routine.
I've always operated from a stance of gentle encouragement, and that has been my message fairly consistently, both here and on my 'other' blog. I've always felt that the best person to change your life situation is you, and offered my own experiences to illustrate that.
So now, I want to return some of the encouragement I received this week.
I want to encourage you, to do one thing in the coming seven days, that will make you proud this time next week.
It could be a random act of kindness, for example. Last Saturday, my daughter and I bought 3 packets of Ferrero Rocher Chocolates, and approached the cleaner in the food court of our local shopping centre. We said 'Hi. We've noticed how hard you ladies work, and we're pretty sure that nobody ever acknowledges you, so we'd like to give you these chocolates so you know you're appreciated'. Her face was priceless, and she couldn't believe that someone would do that for her, and her colleagues. Heck. They were $3 chocolates. It was the gesture that made an impact. That left us all grinning from ear to ear.
Maybe you could rustle up a few bottles of Annabels' bubble bath I mentioned recently. You don't need to spend much on the bottles. Recycled bottles of any kind will do. Sauce bottles, vinegar bottles, even wine bottles if you know someone who drinks wine. Or ask at a local restaurant for their clear empty wine bottles. Wash them well, soak off the labels, and they're perfect. And free. Fancy bottle stoppers are available on eBay for under $3 each, or you can buy craft corks, and seal them with those. Imagine bubble bath in tall bottles, sealed with corks with tea dyed lace, lavish ribbon, or natural raffia tied to their necks, and monogrammes or beautiful decals attached. A gorgeous gift.
Maybe you could start a vision journal. How do you want your life to look this time next year? That journey has to begin somewhere. It might mean tidying the garden, it might mean changing jobs, or maybe it means nurturing your relationships. Just start. Having a plan, a list, and an idea of how to work towards that goal, day by day, week by week, is the only way you'll get there. You can't keep doing the same thing and expect a different result, as the saying goes.
My primary goal this year, is to have my book at the printer, by Christmas. So I already have my plan on the wall. It's going to be a hard slog to make that happen and I may not get there in time for Christmas. But I'm going to try. Maybe it will be more like Mothers Day next year, and that's not a bad thing. But at least I have a plan.
Some mornings, just before I wake, I almost feel my Mothers touch on my shoulder. As if she's there, gently nudging me towards my day. I miss her hand in mine, and her gentle encouragement, terribly. But I have all of you, cheering me from the sidelines, and that is a wonderful bonus in my life.