On my Tray of Bliss today is a wistful longing for my Mum.
She would have been 69 in the next few days, but she succumbed to Ovarian Cancer nine years ago.
We decided against a traditional burial and commemorative headstone, urn or object to mark her remains.
Instead we named a constellation after her. We didn't ask permission or pay someone for the privilege. We just decided amongst ourselves and did it.
This is a Hubble Telescope photo of the constellation commonly known as The Jewel Box.
We chose this one as there are seven stars in it and seven siblings. Mum was also something of a bower bird and adored vintage costume jewellery and anything that glittered, glimmered or shone. She had a fascination for astronomy and Carl Sagans 'Chariots of the Gods' was a favourite book.
So this couldn't be more appropriate.
On a clear night, Mums Jewel Box winks at us from the heavens as if she's saying 'I'm here, I'm watching over you, all is well'.
Most days I now remember her fondly and with enormous love and affection and can speak of her without a quiver in my voice. But now and again, grief rises up and bites you on the behind and it's as if it's a raw wound.
Today, and the next few, will be like that. A longing in my heart, a wish for one more conversation, one more chance to tell her all she meant to me and to my children.
As Roy Orbison, her favourite singer says..
"In dreams, I walk with you.
In dreams I talk to you.
In dreams, you're mine all of the time,
Only in dreams"
Here's the song on youtube. We played it at her funeral. It's of course written for a lover, but was extremely appropriate...see if it doesn't make you cry...
R.I.P. Mum...I hope you and Roy and having a ball up there.