Motherly advice...don't wish your life away....

 

We spend so much of our lives, wishing we were somewhere other than where we are.

At home, we wish to be somewhere far flung and exotic. Me? I like to be somewhere where there's a grassy lawn and a lacy tent, and plump cushions upon which I can recline.

When away, we yearn fervently sometimes, for our own bed and home comforts.

When we're young, we want to be older and once we're old, we wish we were young.

 

When we're at work, we want to be home, and I bet right now, many of us would prefer to be somewhere other than at home. Thanks Covid-19. And whilst restrictions have now eased, we in Australia are not yet in our Winter, so the future is still an unknown.

What this may have helped some of us realise, that what we love and need for a happy life, is right under our nose. Movies have been made, songs have been written, and whole novels penned upon that premise!

I came upon some photographs of some of our holidays this morning.

There were several things that struck me upon viewing them.

 

Firstly, the things I enjoy viewing, and photographing, do not vary all that much. Whether home or away, I enjoy admiring a stunning sunset, I appreciate the thought, planning and sheer hard work in building and maintaining a beautiful garden, I adore the history of ornate or interesting architecture, and often file away local details in décor, to replicate upon returning home, so that a little memory of our travels is there at our fingertips.

The funny thing is, that the older I get, the more I appreciate that 'home' can offer the very same joys of far flung locations. The difference is, that when we are on vacation, we stop to enjoy the monuments, the sunsets, the detail on a building, and the unusual or thought provoking in an art gallery. I've learned, that as much as I love to travel, the experiences I seek out when travelling, are just as accessible here at home. We don't have the Eiffel Tower (although our city does have a miniature version in a café` district, so perhaps all is not lost!), but beautiful sunsets, fabulous local artisanal homewares, a gorgeous outlook from our back porch, and architecture that makes you appreciate the imagination of the women and men who've created it...they're all here.

 

 

Let's compare the sunset above, taken beneath the lacy ironwork of the Eiffel Tower...

....to this beautiful sunset, snapped just a few months ago in the Town of 1770 on our Eastern coastline, where Captain Cook first landed in Australia. Neither one is more beautiful than the other. And a sunset can be enjoyed any day of the week that you care to stop, and contemplate.

I loved this simple window treatment in a house where we stayed in the The Perigord region in 2008 so much....

...that I completely unconsciously replicated it, albeit in a prettified, lacy version, in my daughters bedroom, right down to the floral posy...crazy! I didn't even realise I had pre-imagined the idea, until this photograph surfaced today!

As for interesting architecture, well, I can't compete with French living in The Perigord....

....but my own suburb once had it's little surprises in this elvish house just 2 minutes walk from my home....

....it's unfortunately now been demolished to make way for a housing development....

....sad...but alas, that is progress. The sweet little cottage with it's European detail just doesn't live up to the modern day expectations of 'home'.

This was the outlook from the back porch of a holiday house we rented once. All misty mountains and mysterious vistas....

...a walk to my own back porch, yields a view of tropical palms and Poinciana trees. Sometimes it's misty too, but not today. Is one better than the other? I don't think so. But I rarely step outside to my back porch early in the morning to admire my own back yard, whereas on vacation, I have time to do so. I think it's time to revise my morning routine to allow for that!

As for interesting architecture...well home is not a stone home in the countryside of a distant land....

....but we have interesting architecture too...

I'm working on not always wishing I was somewhere else. Not that I do that in a belligerent, 'I'd rather be anywhere but here' manner, but rather that kind of 'I can't wait to travel again', that is the basis of my savings mentality, and that yields a healthy respect for money and the freedom it can provide.

A wise person once said to me 'You can only live in one place at a time'. It seemed an obvious comment back then, and I didn't really understand what they meant. But I guess they meant...do not pine for anywhere other than where you are, for what is the point? You pine for there when you're here, and for here when you're there.

Why not just enjoy 'now', wherever you might be.

Can you find similarities between where you are right now, and where you imagine you'd like to be?

Can you summon up a little bit of Paris by serving your morning tea in fine china? Could you fancy up your morning juice with a slice of pineapple and a striped paper straw, resort style? Could you lay out your own towel and toiletries for tonight, and pretend the housemaid did it for you? Little tricks like this, can truly add to your enjoyment of the minutae of the day, and help get you past wishing your life away.

I have several chandeliers at home. This beastie was rescued in terrible condition at a thrift store for just $60. It greets me, lit up in all it's glory, each and every morning, thanks to kind husband.

 

They remind me of the beautiful Parisian apartment we treated ourselves to just prior to the Pandemic...

 

 

I'm also currently trying to teach myself to make Canele`, which are little French pastries with a caramelised exterior, and a custard centre. We ate them in Bordeaux, and I've not seen them since. Being able to replicate them, means I can bring a little 'Bordeaux' into our home, whenever the mood takes me. Perhaps you could do something similar.

Longer term, could you plant a corner of your garden to resemble a favourite getaway spot? Could you introduce a detail into your décor, like my rescued chandelier, that reminds you of somewhere you've stayed that generated happy memories? Can you teach yourself to cook or bake a treat, like my Canele`, that is currently only available in a distant land?

Have you visited somewhere that really spoke to your heart?

Can you replicate a little of that this week at home?

...Mimi...

Motherly Advice....Gentle Encouragement for the soul....

 

 

Sometimes life is hard.

Sometimes we all feel like we're four years old again, with that hitching that precedes a flood of tears, hiccuping in our chest.

Sometimes we just need a hug.

I've had a challenging week on so many levels. What about you?

I had days where I just wanted Mum. Alas she is gone 18 years.

I know that many fall back on their faith in times of despair. At times I can do this, and sometimes, it seems I am being called to right my own wrongs, and find a way out of the despair alone.

That was the case this week.

I've really gone back to grass roots and determinedly clawed out some time for me, for reflection, for planning, for goal setting and for a good hard look at where I am in life, and where I want to be.

I've realised that nothing we do in life is a waste. If nothing else, when things don't go according to plan, we can dust ourselves off and say 'Well! What did I learn from THAT experience?'. 

I'm sure some of you think I'm referring to my recent post about the perils of enforced time with family during the Covid-19 restrictions. I can assure you that this was but the tip of iceberg of my challenging week. 

No matter the why and wherefore, I have been buoyed by so much positive sent my way in a harrowing week. Thanks to you all, I feel I am on a good path. A path that will see me fulfilling some dreams and goals, that I realise now, were buried in the humdrum and routine.   

I've always operated from a stance of gentle encouragement, and that has been my message fairly consistently. I've always felt that the best person to change your life situation is you, and offered my own experiences to illustrate that.

So now, I want to return some of the encouragement I received this week.

I want to encourage you, to do one thing in the coming seven days, that will make you proud this time next week. 

It could be a random act of kindness, for example. Last Saturday, my daughter and I bought 3 packets of Ferrero Rocher Chocolates, and approached the cleaner in the food court of our local shopping centre. We said 'Hi. We've noticed how hard you ladies work, and we're pretty sure that nobody ever acknowledges you, so we'd like to give you these chocolates so you know you're appreciated'. Her face was priceless, and she couldn't believe that someone would do that for her, and her colleagues. Heck. They were $3 chocolates. It was the gesture that made an impact. That left us all grinning from ear to ear.

Maybe you could rustle up a few bottles of Annabels' bubble bath I mentioned recently. You don't need to spend much on the bottles. Recycled bottles of any kind will do. Sauce bottles, vinegar bottles, even wine bottles if you know someone who drinks wine. Or ask at a local restaurant for their clear empty wine bottles. Wash them well, soak off the labels, and they're perfect. And free. Fancy bottle stoppers are available on eBay for under $3 each, or you can buy craft corks, and seal them with those. Imagine bubble bath in tall bottles, sealed with corks with tea dyed lace, lavish ribbon, or natural raffia tied to their necks, and monogrammes or beautiful decals attached. A gorgeous gift.

Maybe you could start a vision journal. Use this time constructively. How do you want your life to look this time next year? That journey has to begin somewhere. It might mean tidying the garden, it might mean changing jobs, or maybe it means nurturing your relationships. Just start. Having a plan, a list, and an idea of how to work towards that goal, day by day, week by week, is the only way you'll get there. You can't keep doing the same thing and expect a different result, as the saying goes. 

My primary goal this year, is to have my own limited edition magazine or YouTube channel, by Christmas. So I already have my plan on the wall. It's going to be a hard slog to make that happen and I may not get there in time for Christmas. But I'm going to try. Maybe it will be more like Mothers Day next year, and that's not a bad thing. But at least I have a plan.

Some mornings, just before I wake, I almost feel my Mothers touch on my shoulder. As if she's there, gently nudging me towards my day. I miss her hand in mine, and her gentle encouragement, terribly. But I have all of you, cheering me from the sidelines, and that is a wonderful bonus in my life.

Thankyou.

....Mimi...

Motherly Advice....This too shall pass....

 

What a moment in history we are all living through...I'm baking endless miles of Jam Crostadas to cope....

 

Just 4 months ago, we were on the trip of a lifetime.

 

New York, Paris, Nice, Singapore.

 

Never for a moment, did we imagine that we were escaping a global Pandemic by a whisker, or that our travel plans for the future would be in disarray.

 

 

Just six months ago, my son married his long time sweetheart.

 

Two months ago, I celebrated my sixtieth birthday, and I had a loooong list of 60 things to do when I'm 60, that I've never done before. 

 

That list is now reduced to "Spend 60 days at home with nobody but Musician Husband and Diva Daughter to keep me company".

 

Actually...that is probably the accomplishment to trump all accomplishments.

 

I don't know about you, but I'm finding that bulk time 'en famille' can be challenging.

 

Three wilful adults in a household together is fine when it's a hour here, and a weekend there, and other stuff in between.

 

But lemme tell you....the home grown Lavender is getting a workout. Breeeeeathe….Peeeeeace...Inhaaaaaale...Exhaaaale...

 

Of course, working from home arrangements are another challenge.

 

Thank goodness for my new home office. What do you think of my secretary? She's a bossy little minx. Thinks she can sit in my chair, but not do the work. Another challenge.

 

 

Meanwhile, chandeliers at the Lido entry have been replaced by thrifted ones in our entry...$60 if you please. And all husbands own work. It was a tangled nightmare when we got it.

 

 

The city of Nice and it's beautiful scenery...

 ...and Laduree in the First Arondissement in Paris…

 

 

...and the Azure blue of the Mediterranean ocean...

...and Princess Graces garden in Monaco...

 

….and the Chocolate Shop in Old Town Nice...

 

….are but fond memories.

 

Frankly, we feast upon them. Memories of good times are what holds us together in times of difficulty.

 

I know of two families who are sadly, contemplating divorce, due to this enforced togetherness we are now so commanded to conduct. It's tough. We've had our moments, Lord knows.

 

We've had to sit down and have some very uncomfortable conversations around household responsibilities and personal space, and mutual respect. ALL of us.

 

The thing is though, our mantra has been 'Be Kind'. In all that we are doing, we are keeping that mantra foremost in our minds. It's standing us in good stead.

 

If home life 'en famille' is getting the better of you, perhaps a family conversation will be useful for you too.

 

Here's how:

 

1. Be clear about what you want from the conversation.

 

2. Give everyone else 48 hours notice of said conversation. Ask them to air their grievances too.

 

3. No insulting, no ridiculing, no yelling allowed.

 

4. Lists are good.

 

5. Allow each person to have their say without interruption.

 

6. Have a 'talking stick' if necessary. The person holding the stick, is the only one allowed to talk.

 

7. Discuss potential solutions and agree to them.

 

8. Everyone takes responsibility for household chores.

 

9. Stay on topic.

 

10. Draft an agreement, have everyone sign it and put it up somewhere.

 

---0---

 

This worked for us, and basically prevented World War III. Honest. It's not perfect around here, but it's liveable, and we're all trying extra hard. This is a time to try extra hard.

 

Meanwhile, in addition to working like a beaver to get office stuff done, I'm planning outfits for when social distancing measures are lifted.

 

I'm partial to this one.

 

I think I'll wear it to Aldi tomorrow....

 



 

Daughter Diva is getting ahead on making Christmas presents. These tassel earring she's invented are very much in demand....

 

I'm looking forward to the day when I can pick lavender with my little darlings again....

 

 

...and now that the weather is cooling here, the snuggly rugs are out...

 

 

...and crepes are on the menu for Breakfast, Lunch AND Dinner.

 

How are things for you?

 

Remember dears....this too shall pass.

 

And.

 

Be Kind.

  ….Mimi....