Motherly Advice...Don't make your own life difficult...Part 1...

 

Stop making your own life difficult. Honestly.

 

Don't plant rosebushes, when you can plant oleander.

 

Don't plant things you don't eat, grow things you do.

 

Those are two things I've learned the hard way.

 

Do you too, find yourself dreading the washing, the baking, the ironing, the gardening, the cleaning, the tidying sometimes?

 

Maybe you feel weighed down by all you have to do in a day. Maybe you work full time and spend the entire weekend preparing for the week ahead, and then wonder where your weekend went.

 

We've all done it.

 

 

Here's a lesson I learned first from my Mum, then from my clever Husband.

 

Don't make your own life difficult.

 

Sounds obvious doesn't it?

 

We all imagine that home as an extension of self, needs to be full to the brim of supposedly 'unique' items and routines that define us. But not only do these things define us, we sometimes find ourselves a slave to them.

 

Here are some ways we do this:

 

  Make life difficult by: Furnishing the home with high maintenance furnishings...things like white carpets or tiles, plush pile rugs, hard to clean lounges and chairs, multiple cushions and soft furnishings.

 

Do this instead: Accept your stage of life.

 

This means, that no matter how fashionable it may be, you don't install white or pale neutral floor coverings if you have dogs and children. You don't pave your outdoor area with white tiles if you live underneath trees that drop debris, you pave with natural stone instead. It's liberating to get rid of plush pile rugs and invest in colourful low pile Turkish or Federation style ones, or to have none at all. Consider saving for quality leather couches...these actually improve with wear...or make sure your soft furnishings can be easily cleaned. Go easy on the cushions, curtains and throws. These all need washing and replacing regularly to not be a haven for dusts mites and allergens. Remember you don't want to be a slave to your 'stuff'. Look at where you are, and plan and furnish accordingly.

 

Make life difficult by: Displaying multiple knick-knacks that are your 'thing', but that require ongoing dusting or cleaning.

 

 

Do this instead: Search for singular statement pieces that say something about you. A piece of artwork, a sculpture, a fabulous clump of orchids in a Chinoiserie bowl, a lamp, a unique table, an ever changing vase of garden cuttings be they flowers or greenery. Something that when people see it, they say 'oh that's so YOU', instead of something the chain stores convinced us all was a necessity, so they keep churning them out for under $10. If you have a collection, be it pink porcelain piglets, or custom made cow cushions, assemble them altogether in one spot and make a feature of them. There's no need to spread them from one end of the house to the other. I'm afraid that Pinterest has a lot to answer for in the realm of us seeing things that we never knew we wanted!

 

Make life difficult by: Buying and wearing high maintenance clothing.

 

Do this instead: Wash your clothing on the Gentle cycle and a low spin, then hang directly on to hangers and in the sun or under cover to dry. I haven't ironed in years using this strategy. Not even a school uniform. You can smooth more crinkled items with your hands, and here's another secret...if you have a clothes dryer, a tumble in the dryer with a dampened cloth will 'iron' most things bar the most delicate. Just a few minutes, then whip it out while it's still warm and give it a shake and you're done. It works, I promise! If you simply MUST iron, at least this strategy does a lot of the hard work for you too.

 

Make life difficult by: Having a labour intensive routine in the home.

 

Do this instead: If you work full time, or have young children, save up for a robo vac, a steamer instead of an iron, a slow cooker, a sandwich press. Things that make life easier. Don't go splurging on a Mixmaster or a Kitchenmaid or a Thermomix if having those appliances is going to make you feel like you have to use them, when you wouldn't normally. There's a season in life for being the Earth Mother, and for some, that season never arrives. Save it for when you can accommodate that in your day to day routine. If on the other hand, acquiring those appliances actually makes your life easier, then go for it. I couldn't live without my Mixmaster, my clothes dryer, my oven and cooktop, my cookie press. I use those things weekly and sometimes more often. Others could never own those items and never miss them. Assess what appliances or routines will HELP you, not hinder you, or make you feel guilty through lack of use.

 

 

 

Make life difficult by: Preparing elaborate meals.  Oh my goodness. Don't get me started. Grrrrrr to TV chefs and competitive cooking shows. They've convinced us all that we have to serve meals worthy of a five star restaurant every night. Why, why, why?

Do this instead: Have a simple ongoing menu plan. One that allows for family preferences, family routines, your budget, and the climate. Why folks insist on even turning the oven on for a roast dinner in the 38C heat is beyond me. Those are the days when a simple platter will do. In fact, during Summer here, that does on most days. Here we have our top 12 favourite meals, and those are what we eat. If I happen to see something that is a bargain to sock away for either a special occasion or that is an ingredient for one of those 12 meals, then I snaffle it up. Otherwise, no. Don't go buying up big on something that's a bargain, that you won't use.

 

 

Make life difficult by: Investing in somewhat capricious claims such as 'treating yourself to flowers will make your day/make you more French/dust you with some indefinable style'. What rubbish.

 

Do this instead: Having said we have a thriving garden, Husband is still a romantic at heart, and often arrives home with flowers for me. I can hardly complain. But it needs to be said that arranging flowers to get longevity from them, and maintaining them in vases, is still a task, and in the context of this discussion, it is making life more difficult. I've trained him to think 'quality' not 'quantity', and to choose things that are clean and easy to arrange. Chrysanthemum are a nightmare although long lasting, so maybe not. Roses...easy but short lived, so only in cooler weather. Lilies...shed their pollen and give us hayfever, as much as I love them. Carnations are great, as is Gypsophila (Babies Breath), so they're my favourites.

 

If you must have flowers, then one bunch of roses can be arranged all over the house if you're clever. And in singles in separate vases, they last longer. Win.

 

For value and longevity, when you can get carnations in every colour of the rainbow, including this deep scarlet...well, why wouldn't you buy them?

 

 

Alternatively, grow something. Agapanthus are deemed a pest in some areas, but not here. I adore them. That colour. And even when the petals drop and you're left with a stalky head, they still look fabulous amassed in tall vases.

 

 

Failing all else, especially in the Tropics, even a couple of humble Ixora tucked between some green apples can look very pretty. You don't need to go overboard.

 

 

French Lavender, my favourite, will grow just about anywhere, and one plant alone, can yield dozens of little propagated Lavenders.

 

Have flowers. Don't make them a chore any more than you would anything else.

 

 

Are you getting the hang of it?

 

There's more. I'll update further on Wednesday. But meanwhile, can you identify some areas of your own life where you might unintentionally be making things more difficult than they need to be? I'd be interested to hear what they are, and your potential solutions.

 

....Mimi...