Celebrating Christmas without a loved one....

 

This is my Mums constellation. It's called the Jewel Box.

 

We nominated this 'her' constellation as she always had a fascination with the heavens and the mythology of the stars. On clear evenings, I love sitting on our back deck, searching the night sky for her. The stars wink at me, and I feel her hands on my shoulders.

 

This will be our tenth Christmas without her.

 

Some of you may be celebrating your first, fifteenth or fiftieth Christmas without someone dear to you.

 

Significant days like Christmas, birthdays, Mothers Day, Fathers Day, and other celebrations take on a new poignancy when someone you love is missing, absent or has passed away.

 

 

 

It's hard not to immerse oneself in the pain of loss and grief. I remember someone telling me the pain lessens, and the weight of the grief becomes easier.

 

I didn't believe them.

 

I moaned, I wailed, I rocked back and forth, hugging myself as Mum had always hugged me when things went wrong. I did that for a very long while.

 

Then one morning, just before I opened my eyes from slumber, I heard my Mums voice say 'C'mon Darling, chop-chop, there's a new day out there. Aren't you going to put on some lippy?'.

 

I wasn't surprised. This was something she'd said to me, when she was here. Why wouldn't she say it to me now? It was the most natural thing in the world.

 

From time to time,when I am having an internal struggle with something, I'll hear her voice in my ear just before I wake, just as I did then. Always full of gentle advice. And then I'll feel a flutter, brushing my hand or my foot or my brow, like a moth or a firefly.

 

 

 

I know then, that she is with me, guiding me and smiling proudly when I do well.

 

From time to time, I'll see or hear something that I know is a message from her. A pod of Dolphins breaking the surface of the water at our favourite seaside getaway (she always joked she'd come back as a Dolphin), a butterfly coming to a prolonged rest on my hand, a whisper through the branches of the tree we planted in honour of her sixtieth birthday, jingling the wind chime that once adorned her back verandah.

 

I don't know what you believe, but I think the souls of loved ones can be carried between this life and the next. I believe that when you really need to hear that persons voice, they will speak to you. If not in your waking life, then perhaps while you sleep.

 

I have vivid and lengthy conversations with my Mum, in dreams that are so real, that I am genuinely surprised to wake from them. In these dreams I know that Mum has passed on, but accept that she is there to tell me something. Inevitably she imparts some words of wisdom, and then I'm awake.

 

I almost certainly find that I am then able to resolve some thus far unresolveable issue or conflict in my life.

 

Often we fly together, dipping and lifting again. She believed in Astral travel too, so who's to say we're not doing exactly that...

 

 

Trust in yourself and in the deep love you shared or still share, with your absent loved one.

 

Know that if nothing else, they live on in our hearts and minds and are always with us.

 

The bonds of love cannot be broken. Not by death or disappearance or absence of any kind. They stretch like a silken web and enfold us when we need it most.

 

 

 

Be still. Be very, very quiet. Breathe.

 

Your loved one is near.

 

Can you feel them?

 

Is that their whisper on the breeze, their palm in yours as you drift off to sleep, their favourite bloom inexplicably more beautiful this season telling you they are at peace and with you always?

 

I choose to believe so.

 

Perhaps you do too.

 

Be at peace this Festive Season.

 

 

Very Special DIY Gifts...Customised Notepads...

Personalised anything is the name of the game for pretty gifts around here.

I made these notepads for my daughters friends recently.

They're so easy, and when you consider what you pay for personalised notepads even online, they're eye poppingly inexpensive.

Just print a picture or graphic you think they'd like onto 50 or so sheets of A4 paper. Cut the paper in halves or quarters if you like a more compact notepad.

Clamp the pile of paper to the edge of a table or desk or workbench with a D Clamp, and smear the facing edge (what will be the spine of the notebook) liberally, with Aquadhere...a sort of gummy hardware glue.

Allow the gummy glue to dry overnight, then remove the clamp.

Ta-Da!

Customised notebooks. Who knew? Easy, right?

Let your imagination run riot and use wedding photos, baby photos, a hand drawn graphic which can then be scanned, holiday memories and so on.

Use pastel coloured paper or use stamps and clear stamping ink to give a watermarked effect.

Do ahead of time, and store in a shoebox with scented sachets, and you have scented notepaper!

A pretty gift for very little effort.

What's on your Tray of Bliss today?

 Sharing at:

The Charm of Home

Being Broke at Christmas....

More Images @ MyNiceProfile.com

Some roses for you, because if you're here, maybe you need a smile. Christmas is tough if you're broke.

No, hang on, it's tough all the time if you're broke, but particularly so, at Christmas.

Everyone else is kicking up their heels and all you can do is worry about how to pay the rent or put food on the table.

First of all, take the pressure off yourself. Have you made arrangements with anyone you owe money to?

Have you had an honest conversation with your family about what you can and can't afford? Kids, parents, siblings, partners, can all be counted upon to be more sympathetic, if they know what's really going on. This is NOT the time to put your head in the sand and your credit card and credit rating on the line.

The older I get, the more I believe that the things that matter are people, not things. Make people your priority this Christmas, not shopping, or food, or glittering decorations. Gosh, I shop all the time on-line and never actually buy anything. Indulge in a bit of window shopping on-line this year. Print out pictures of all the things you'd buy your loved ones if money was no object.

And then, do this.

Sit down, pen in hand and paper on the desk or table and write them a letter. And I do mean HAND write. It'll mean more to them.

When was the last time you wrote a heartfelt letter to those that are important to you, telling them how much they mean in your life? Sharing a memory of a particularly happy moment, or a time when they made you so proud you could almost burst?

When was the last time you spent an hour with one of your kids or your Mum or Dad, or brother or sister or your partner, just them and you, listening to them, taking an interest in their world without thinking about what you're going to say when they stop talking or drifting off and thinking about what you have to do next. Long time, huh?

Make this the year of telling those you love, how much you love them. And to hell with shopping. You won't regret it, I promise.

 
And if you still want to do the whole shebang, challenge yourself to do it for as little expense as possible. More on that in my post here.

...until next time...

...Mimi...

So you're broke and it's Christmas...what now?

Take a moment.

I'm listing some practical ideas at the end of this post.

But first...

 

Breathe.

 

Focus on what's really important.

 

It's not expensive gifts.

 

It's not a table groaning with $500 worth of food, $250 of which will be thrown away at the end of the day.

 

It's having our loved one close. Appreciating the true meaning of Christmas.

 

Peace and Goodwill to all Men.

 

Believe that you have a Guardian Angel watching over you. We all do, you know.

 

From this, you are meant to learn.

 

From this, you will gain a new appreciation of what you can do when faced with a crisis.

 

From this, your family can grow and learn that dealing with adversity is a necessary human skill.

 

Exchange letters, hand decorated with magazine clippings. Write your family history. Spend Christmas day doing nice things for each other...a foot massage, a shoulder rub, brushing each others hair.

 

Give of yourselves, not of the supermarket and shopping mall.

You reap what you sow.

 Don't sow anger and unfulfilled need. Sow a peaceful and glad heart that you and your loved ones can gather together in a safe place and go on.

 

It may well be the best Christmas you've ever had.

Here is my cheap, cheap, cheap, impressive Christmas lunch.

Here are my no cost Christmas Ideas Number 1, number 2, number 3, number 4. and more to come. Stay tumed.


 ...until next time...

 

...Mimi...